My Blog

hey i will not be blogging here in friendster anymore ….

i will change to www.jy86.blogspot.com ..

Wo0t finally finished fyp presentation ….

Got bombed by evaluators as our codings was not finished ….

At 1^st when I left the class, I felt sad ….

But that is not important now….

My grandma has just passed away ….

I felt that she going off today was because of me ….

Y did I say dat ?

It is because my grandma, she is a very kind hearted person

Whatever she do , it is all for her childrens and grandchildren …

She always wanted us to study hard …

She always ask us to put our studies 1^st …

Since 8 months ago, she had been entering the hospital …

But there is something very funny …

She has entered more that 10 times, maybe more den 20 times, but,

Every single time, she enters the hospital, it is always a weekend …

To me , I think she planned it …

So that when we go visit her, it will not affect my studies …

She is extremely considerate

A lot of things that happened in my family in the past is a good prove.

When she was discharged from hospital last sat,

The doc says she will be gone within few days,

That affected me badly …

I was very frighten …

I skipped classes to stay home …

I am scare that I wont see her one last time before she goes off …

When she delayed till tues, I made up my mind,

If she goes off on thurs or wed,

I will skip even my fyp presentation on fri …

Although I know she wont like it …

But I made up my mind …

Today , when I woke up, I looked at her …

She looks fine to me …

So, I dressed up and left for my fyp presentation …

After its over, I reached home at 6++

I sat down for awhile …

At 7.10, she passed away …

Some how, I think she noes that if she pass away one or two days before, it will

Affect my studies greatly …

Think she did that for me as well …

When I looked at her, I cried …

Think I got no mood to go on …

Update u guys again …

Btw , her funeral is from sat – tues …

If wanna come, come … I will be there 24-7 …

Its at my hse …

o0 its the 4th day ….

today everything seems fine ….

nth much …

but i stayed at home ….

didnt go sch ….

skipped ut ….

missed fyp presentation rehearal ….

but if any of you asked me whether it is worth it ?

i will say yes ….

if she goes off today, at least i will be able to sell her off …

if i am in sch, i think i will regret it …

now cutting down on the days i go to sch ….

tomorrow going cos having fyp presentation rehearsal …

fri going for fyp presentation ….

den wont go sch liaoz …

hahaz …

but super busy on fri lo ….

fyp presentation at 4.15, meeting with my doctor at 5 at great world city, have to pay starhub bill by fri … woah !!!!!

so busy sia …

haiz ….

but after dat relaxz liaox …

haha ….

but dunno wan work anot …

frends all quit liaoz …

y bother to  stay ???

haha c howz ba …

nitez ….

haiz ….

this is 3rd day liaoz …..

today, her body detelorated very badly ….

morning when i looked at her, she still looked fine to me ….

but when i reach home in the evening, her looks changed ….

she is now semi-concious …

when we call her, she cant hear us anymore ….

my father had been praying 4 her since 4 pm till now ….

at 1st, the nurse came in the afternoon …. says her bp etc all were very low …

her body began to harden …

her beathing became very slow … pausing every now and then …

so, we though that it could be tonite … or tomorrow morning …

so at 8, our whole family sat down in the room and pray 4 her …

we prayed until 9 ….

although we are of different religion, we all prayed together as a family …

be it as buddist, chistian or roman catholic …

after 9, all my uncles went home …

my aunts went home bathe den now backed at my hse watching korean dramas as my dad and his buddist frends are praying inside …

they plan to pray till dawn …

but i have just heard a news ….

my grandma’s condition is better …

dun thin she will go off tonite …

another false alarm …

do not misunderstand when i say false alarm …

it is because deep down in my and i believe all of my familes heart,

i think it would be better if she goes off earlier as it ends her pain …

by hanging there for days, her condition gets worst … body becoming cold, hard, begins to rot, blue black all over her body ….

feel so sry for her …

these few days, i have been making prayers for her …. hoping she can go off without pain … maybe like during her sleep etc …

two days ago, my grandma was admitted to A&E due to critical condition….

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she had been not feeling well for close to 8 mths now …

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the doctors in the hospital said there is no more hope ….

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so, cos myt dad was a buddist, all my aunties uncles agreed to bring my grandma home to pray 4 her.

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yesterday was the 1st day back home….

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i felt something which i had not felt for years..

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my whole family was reunited again .

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reminds me of chinese new year years ago …..

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my grandma is in critical condition… the doc says she will jus go off to the other world anytime now …

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instead of all of us praying for her, a conflict arosed …

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it is because my mum, dad and 2 sis are extreme buddist ….

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i and all my relatives are free-thinker …

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my parents claim that in buddist, they must pray for my grandma …

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we do not disagree with it …

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we also do not stop them …

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but do they have the rights to stop us from seeing our grandma ???

do they have the rights to chase us out of the room ???

wad the F!@K is wrong with me ???!!!!!!!
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last year when my uncle pass away i thought i had no feelings…

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as i stood there staring at him in the coffin, my mind is blanked ….

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i do not feel sad etc ….

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onli on the day he was buried i felt sadness flowing through me ….

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within dat 3 days , i thought i had lost all my feelings ….

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and i found back my feelings as well …

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but now, a even closer person beside me is going to pass away ….

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it could be in a matter of a few hours ….

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but i still have not recover the feelings dat i though i have recovered one year ago …

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during my normal life i am filled with sadnesss ….

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but WHY !???

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CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHY !????

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Y IN SUCH TIMINGS I LOST ALL THE SADNESS IN ME ???!!!!!!!!

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WHY !!!!!!!!!!!!!

haiz

can anyone teach me how 2 do things better ???

like can anyone teach me how to make my video better ??

can anyone teach me how to cook better food ???

can anyone teach me how to slim down ???

can anyone teach me how to hold my alcohol level ??

in fact can anyone teach me all the things in this world that i wanna learn ???

dun think such person exits ….

if he does exits, i will call him god …

i also dunno y i am writing these nosenses …

perhaps jus feel veri sian ….

haha okok …. wish all peeps a happy national day …. this year my frend

participated in it !!! but sad 2 say jus as pass years, i did not stay at home and watch … went town with old frends …

we played darts followed by KBOX !!!!

although some guy spoit my mood, but after he left i continued singing and it was still quite enjoyable as well…

well, very tired … time 4 slp …

oh oh btw my video will be sent for completetion tomorrow !!!!!!!!

so excited … rushed the editing like mad for the pass 2 days. stayed in sch till 9pm on both days lor ….

finished editing and burned to dvd liao ….

but when i watch it at home in this afternoon , i found that the person speaking is too soft …

die … like dat send for completetion sure die …

eric summiting it on thurs which is today !!!!!! or rather few hours more

so, later must early early go sch edit it … hope still got time to savage the situation …

haha okok …. wish all peeps a happy national day …. this year my frend

participated in it !!! but sad 2 say jus as pass years, i did not stay at home and watch … went town with old frends …

we played darts followed by KBOX !!!!

although some guy spoit my mood, but after he left i continued singing and it was still quite enjoyable as well…

well, very tired … time 4 slp …

oh oh btw my video will be sent for completetion tomorrow !!!!!!!!

so excited … rushed the editing like mad for the pass 2 days. stayed in sch till 9pm on both days lor ….

finished editing and burned to dvd liao ….

but when i watch it at home in this afternoon , i found that the person speaking is too soft …

die … like dat send for completetion sure die …

eric summiting it on thurs which is today !!!!!! or rather few hours more

so, later must early early go sch edit it … hope still got time to savage the situation …

so fuck up …. my sis keep taking my agentina jersey 2 wear !!!!!!!!!!!!

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hello dat 1 i buy 4 myself lo …..

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wan go adidas buy la … kop my 1 for wad ….

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tell her nicely few weeks ago ….

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knn still take and wear ….

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2nd time abit diu lan liao … told her again ….

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KNN jus now watching tv she came back wearing it again !!!!!!!

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i starting yelling at her ….

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den my fault ????

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den my mum say the jersey how much she buy from me ???!!!!!!!!

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wad the fuck man ….

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if i wan sell i can sell long ago lo ….

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got frend offer to buy from me until $50++ also have ….

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this is not a matter of money man ….

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hiaz fucked up family …

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also dunno wad 2 say …

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getting sicked of this family more and more …..

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when can i get the fuck out of this place man ….

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tell me ….

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WHEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!